I want to talk about the subtle art of loving what you do. I didn’t love what I did or where I lived, and through conscious thought and action I love them both. This is about my journey of learning to fall in love.
My Story
I want to talk about the subtle art of loving what you do. I didn’t love what I did or where I lived, and through conscious thought and action I love them both. This is about my journey of learning to fall in love. I used to live in a small town of Assam called Golaghat before moving to Singapore. As a kid growing up I was never happy with Golaghat, we had moved here when I was around 11 years old, it was a small county-side & we had moved in from a city, I was always bored & I thought that there’s nothing to do here, not even a theater to watch movies. It didn’t help that I was studying in a boarding school, so I never got to meet many friends in my local town.
After school, I studied a couple of years in Singapore, which is as city as city gets. First few years I loved Singapore, and was happy to get a calm-time at home, that’s when I unwittingly began to appreciate the simplicity of life here. But when I returned for the long haul, I found myself lost & bored because my old habits eventually kicked in. I was using the words like “bored” and figuring out what to do next.
Once I recognized this as a problem I began to think on it with the intention of falling in love with my work & the place. Its a question I realized I have never had a conversation about in all my life, how to fall in love with what I do
Finding our love & passion is about the stories we tell ourselves.
The Stories we tell Ourselves.
The story I told myself was that there’s nothing to do, no friends to hang out with, no theaters, hell no assignments or classes. That’s what killed my passion for me. Later I began to consciously change the story I told about myself to myself and eventually everyone else, “I do this, and it’s quite interesting. We need to figure this out, and there’s so much to learn and grow.
We already covered the heavy topic of why “searching for a passion” is often new-age mumbo-jumbo. Now, this leads to parts 2 and 3 of falling in love.
Part 2 is simple: You enjoy things you are good at.
Get good at things you want to love.
As a kid, my mum forced me to go swimming for 2 years straight when we still lived in a city, and with my feet dipped in the pool, sitting at the edge of it, I cried for 1 year and a half straight. A year and a half of crying every day – perhaps is a special sort of stoic training (not sure who was training me or my mum), but I did that when I die I can be proud of that feat. I think I was around 7 years old then, and eventually, my mum decided we need to give a different smaller pool a shot. That pool was a quarter of the size but equally deep for a 7-year-old me. But there was something different there. That pool had a 4-year-old who could swim. Now the 7 year old me was the youngest in the first pool, and now it was honestly shameful to cry outside while the 4-year-old seems to be doing the freaking backstroke in absolute harmony with the world.
So I told myself I am going to learn to do backstroke if that kid could do it, so can I – after all I was double his age (nearly). A week later I learned to do a really bad version of backstroke, and the next day onwards, I was not crying but asking mum if we could go earlier to the pool.
I got better at it, and I saw scope for improvement, for growth and that drove me. Today I love swimming, if I had to pick between a free private jet or a personal pool – it’ll be a pool.
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This leads us to the final point that flies in the face of aunts and more importantly blind dates who ask about your passion, getting passionate means like the fitness freak you stop making time for other stuff and start being boring for others, you immerse in your passion and work: To be passionate means you do something over and over again.
Doing something over and over again – or in our cool kids terminology – building a habit.
