When Zeno of Citium (c. 335–263 B.C.E), the father of Stoicism, decided Providence was trying to tell him his time had come, he obligingly committed suicide — by holding his breath. Who said philosophers, famous for being long-winded, have no sense of humor?
If the gods had shown him a vision of things to come — his philosophy repurposed as “an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments” by life-hacker gurus like Tim Ferriss (The Tao of Seneca: Practical Letters from a Stoic Master) and marketers of motivational breviaries like Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living) — he would’ve self-asphyxiated long before his preachments could get any traction with the young men of Athens.
Alas, the gods forbore, and Broicism is ascendant in Silicon Valley and wherever devotees of “peak performance” and the dude-ly gospel of success through self-mastery gather.
On his podcast, Ferriss retools the wisdom of Stoic philosophers like Seneca for aspiring Alpha males who dream of “rapid fat loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman.” Broicist titles dominate Amazon categories with Dilbert-ian names like Motivational Business Management. Holiday appears to be doing a brisk business on his Daily Stoic website, where you can buy a $50 Zippo lighter unironically inscribed with the exhortation “memento mori” (Latin for “remember that you must die,” just the thing for the chain-smoking Stoic who has everything) and a $99 sterling silver “The Ego is the Enemy” pendant whose flip side bears the stern admonition “Ego sucks us down like the law of gravity” — a quote attributed to Cyril Connolly, of all unlikely people.
(The most famously failed novelist in British letters, Connolly bemoaned his unfulfilled promise with a self-deprecating wit that’s poles apart from the slick sincerity of Broicists like Holiday. “Beneath a mask of selfish tranquility nothing exists except bitterness and boredom,” he confessed, in The Unquiet Grave. “I am one of those whom suffering has made empty and frivolous: each night in my dreams I pull the scab off a wound; each day, vacuous and habit-ridden, I help it re-form.” Too long to fit on a pendant, I’m guessing.)
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