Iremember a line I wrote in my letter to my English teacher last month*. It said:
“This is a new chapter and I am yet a beginner at it. I feel both grateful and excited for this experience”.
When I wrote that, I didn’t realize I’d find myself at an empty apartment in less than a month — my dorm room for my first face-to-face postgraduate semester.
The hardest part was not moving In… (Although packing was a real pain for a week)
Aside from the mental and emotional frustration that came with packing for a long stay away from home, and how it made it difficult for me to update on my blog last week, the thought of leaving home was surreal. Literally.
With the same surreality, quite surprising things happened in the process:
I realized that nothing lasts:
- I used to think that high school was everlasting. I was so caught in the cycle of getting good grades that I thought that was all that life was about.
- When I had my awakening, I felt that I had wasted one of the earliest stages of my life in working -and agonizing- for the system instead of working for myself through the system.
- I wasn’t choosing my battles, and I lost myself to the system.
- This is yet another burden that comes with the package of youth: The moment I started picking my challenges, I couldn’t complain about or feel wronged by my decisions anymore.
I realized that I can get along with my father:
- On the road to the dormitory, my father asked me “what are you thinking about?”, I was astonished.
- Had he asked that one question when I was in high school, many events (and struggle) could/might have been prevented, I thought. Yet, both now and then, it was impossible to answer him honestly.
- Back then, I was scared of how my thoughts came off. Now, I didn’t want to be judged for them; What do we think about when we realize that there will be no going back for us anymore?
I realized that getting along with my father doesn’t mean that ‘I take after him’ (and I don’t know yet what that means exactly anyway):
- One thing that used to bother me back home was how my mom would compare me to my short-tempered father every now and then I did something that she didn’t agree with.
- At first, I got defensive right away.
- It was only after I shared space with him for a 3 hours drive where he did most of the talking -one thing he would never do at home- that I felt like I wanted (and it would be fun) to try to have a conversation with him with as little damage as possible.
- Not so surprisingly, he had many opinions I didn’t agree with.
- At some point, I couldn’t help but smile at myself and shake my head thinking of when I got so triggered;
- Imagine a world where getting along with people was equivalent to being compatible with them…
- And when there is a saying in my country that goes like “That whom I see you with, I associate you with”, and I have yet to meet a diversity of people, it only makes sense for me to find my own rhythm between both worlds.
I realized that I care more about my standards than those of the crowd:
- That has been true even back in high school.
- When I think about what my parents expect of me from this chapter, I can only imagine their reactions when I tell them: “Academics are not my priority here. In fact, I have yet to make sense of them along the way.”
- Obviously, moving out was part of it at this stage, but the way my parents, and basically everyone in my family and I, see this experience couldn’t be more different.
- The majority who’ve been to college have one piece of advice: “Have your goals when going to college.” But should our goals be different than the expectations of our parents? and if yes, how different should they be?
- On the other hand, are we doing something wrong if we see the world the same way our parents do?
And most importantly, I realized that I need to ‘own it’ (now more than ever):
- There is so much variety in ideas thanks to those of us who “own it” more than others;
- When I asked for one of the college clubs to host their meetings online, they answered me that as some of their subjects are sensitive, some students might not feel comfortable voicing their opinions in front of their families.
- But, what often happens is that inside the circle, no matter how secure the space is claimed to be, some are more reluctant to “own it” than others. Why is that?
- Have we already been wired to hold ourselves back? And, how outspoken do we want to be in a world that thrives on “having control”?
I have a promise to keep, but is it helping?
The decision of going to college (or not) is exactly the stage where we start to weigh our options in life. That infers that if we don’t have enough motivation to carry out that decision in the real world, we should reconsider.
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43930/total-sportek-brazil-vs-ecuador-live-free-28-jan-2022
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https://riich.me/blogs/view/43927/gt-official-stream-quot-brazil-vs-ecuador-quot-live-stream-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43925/livestream-brazil-vs-ecuador-live-broadcast-28-january
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43924/official-livestream-quot-brazil-vs-ecuador-quot-live-streams-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43923/stream-official-quot-ecuador-vs-brazil-quot-live-stream-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43922/stream-free-quot-brazil-vs-ecuador-quot-live-stream-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43921/brazil-vs-ecuador-live-stream
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43921/brazil-vs-ecuador-live-stream
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43920/brazil-vs-ecuador-live-fifa-world-cup-qualifiers
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43919/c-rackstreams-ecuador-vs-brazil-live-streaming-reddit-1-28-2022
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43917/ecuador-vs-brazil-live-stream-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43916/brazil-vs-ecuador-live-streams-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43915/gt-official-streams-quot-brazil-vs-ecuador-quot-live-reddit
https://riich.me/blogs/view/43913/free-ecuador-vs-brazil-live-stream-fifa-world-cup-qualifying
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http://www.shadowville.com/board/general-discussions/qwertyuikwe3r5tyuikl#p511859
https://mcspartners.ning.com/profiles/blogs/e3r5tyuikwertyujikl
http://playit4ward-sanantonio.ning.com/photo/albums/fiughuidhfiughidufhgiuf
For me, that meant recalling the promise I had made to my teacher in the letter whenever things got a bit too hard.
Apparently, a combination of hard work and luck (opportunities) is the recipe for achievement, but how does this promise affect that process? And, have I chosen the right challenge by involving someone I look up to in my commitment to achieving?
