When you feel to the core of your soul that life is sacred, the moment you see that the world is woven into your heart, when you see your reflection on this great tapestry of creation, when a simple flower can make you smile, and a gentle song on the radio can make you cut a rug, then you will finally be home. Love life because only the sense of love can do that. Only the philosophy of love can build the love nexus.
Now that 2021 is almost over, it wasn’t an easy year, I had my ups and downs as most people had, but this year has taught me a lot too, You’re probably feeling like you know me by now, getting a feeling for who I am, what my background might be. But you don’t know, not really. I’ll tell you things about me later on, things no one else knows just to show you that I’ve made mistakes too, that I can get angry, feel vengeful and hate. The greatest mistakes you ever make are when you only use see things through the lens of your own need.
Here I will divulge the lessons that I never spoke about :
1/ Be Easy on Yourself.
Peace is not a place nor a person, it’s a state of mind; if you don’t have it within yourself then there’s no place in this world that will give it to you.
If you don’t forgive yourself no one will, if you don’t love yourself no one will. There’s a child inside of us all who wants to be spoiled and well-treated.
Pamper-yourself, it’s time for you to stop :
*Calling yourself ‘stupid’ for letting that one exam define how brilliant you are.
*Calling yourself ‘dumb’ when that boy/girl you are attached to is playing the on-and-off game(at least you were honest with him/her).
*Blaming yourself for forgetting your keys at home.
*Calling yourself “ ugly” just because you are having a bad hair day.
*Calling yourself “ not good enough” just because someone rejected you.
*Hating yourself whenever someone is mocking you.
*Stressing the whole night just because someone left your messages on read.
*Getting insanely angry because someone mistreated you.
“Us vs. Them” is supposed to come after the “Me vs. Me” battle is resolved. After all, how can one successfully interact with others if one has not yet mastered the self?
Forgiveness is possible, emotional scars will heal when you nurse them. I had to earn it until I was satisfied I’d paid it all back in goodness many times over. After that I could love myself and love others; I could be a blessing to myself and others.
2/ Stressing About Work, Ain’t Gonna Do The Work.
No matter how creative and ambitious you can be, if you don’t put all that into work, no results will be seen.
I used to live in a loop and freak out whenever “hard” task is delegated to me, now the reason why I highlighted the word hard, is just because it has no sense to me anymore. There are no hard and easy things in life, there’s just something that I got used to doing in a blink of an eye, and there are things that will take me a whole journey to master.
you have the right to choose what way you wanna take, just make sure to stand by what makes you satisfied but not obliged.
I’ve been there myself, 2021 was a catch 22, if you are not familiar with the term “ catch 22” I suggest you lookup for a genius called “Joseph Heller”. My life was a dilemma, I was stuck in the middle of the urge to do things and the massive procrastination that almost cost me a university year, It wasn’t easy going through all that, but the lesson being is that in life nothing is permanent, pain is temporary, whenever you feel overwhelmed about something, remember that it will fade away one day or another.
just remember this one sentence :
“In the Middle of Difficulty Lies Opportunity.”-Albert Einstein
3/ Force Nothing in Life: Let Things Happen.
if you are forcing anything in your life, you are not letting nature do the main job: offering you what you really deserve. Force nothing whether it’s love, friendships, relationships or conversations.
There’s this Instagram reels that read” Anything forced is just not worth fighting for; whatever flows, flows, whatever crashes, crashes!
Here’s my experience with forcing things into my life.
Nothing from what I insanely wanted, happened.
Let go of all that entitles you. Be free and don’t fret about being free. letting things happen naturally creates freedom, freedom precedes love. Whatever you force is empty, impure and will never make you happy.
love can resume many things other than people; it can be life goals, career and that one dream job.
live for your dreams, but don’t force them to happen, maybe God has better plans for you. In the universe we trust.
Let life resolve what you find unsolvable puzzle, let it balance things for you.
Balance is the word you need to keep in mind for the years ahead. The theory of balance is a sociological construct originated by Fritz Heider, an American psychologist. The theory is also known for the POX triangle when P is a person, O is another person and X is an impersonal entity.
To predict the outcome of a situation using Heider’s Balance Theory / Heider’s theory of equilibrium, one must weigh the effects of all possible outcomes, and the one that requires the least amount of effort will be the likely outcome.
Determining whether the triad is balanced in a mathematical way is like this:
- +++= + Balanced
- -+-= + Balancing
- -++= — Unbalanced
This is a hint about the theory that will teach you how to balance everything in your life.
4/ No One Is God, No One Is Oxygen…
Self-respect has been a long time coming. Perhaps I was waiting for another to grant it to me, to see that I was respected so that I could mirror it back. Perhaps because my trust was so shattered I wasn’t respecting others, and so they could not mirror it back.
leave everything that hurts you: people, friends, conversations and everything that is not making you feel any better.
Let go of the one toxic love that you believed in for years, the friends that you used to call family but left you because you have changed, the crush that made you feel like you are not good enough.
Let go of anyone and anything that harms you, judges you, takes advantage of you, uses you, gets jealous of you, hurts you on purpose.
Let go of the people that doesn’t smile back at your face when you do, the people that talk behind your back, the people that you trust with your secrets but they divulged it, the energy drainers that hit you with their negativity as soon as you tell them enthusiastically about a project you believed in. leave them all behind, if looking back is good for you, you wouldn’t take a step ahead in the first place
Imagine all of your memories are upon cards — all of them — the good, the bad and the ugly. Positive people reread the good ones more often, they remind themselves and others of everyone’s best traits. The bad or ugly ones they have reflected upon and come to a healthy form of acceptance, one that is both protective of the self and fair to others. Negative people on the other side will only pick the bad cards.
By choosing your memory cards carefully, by learning how to process and let go of the bad and ugly memory cards, we can change ourselves and our relationships for the better.