I abided by this proverb.
It was so logical (in my head).
You don’t give up on someone you love.
Because quitting up is not an option, you keep trying and putting yourself on the line.
Long after they’ve let you go or ever, you can’t hang onto them.
At some point, you have to give up on them because if you don’t, you’ll just be building a toxic, self-righteous picture of yourself as a kind deity.
I never abandoned anyone.
I reasoned that since I loved this guy, I should keep battling.
But in this process, the only person you are harming is yourself.
While you stand there, injuring yourself and pushing yourself repeatedly because you love them more than yourself, the person you love and who you appear to be not giving up on has abandoned you and left you before you even knew it.
Is this wholesome?
You have to keep making yourself the person you want to be.
It doesn’t have to be your best friend, boyfriend, parents, partner, siblings, or anybody else for that matter.
I’ve had a long-standing difficulty with prioritising my needs.
I might initially come across as someone who is pretty egotistical and doesn’t think anyone deserves a piece of their heart.
However, I actually just put everyone else before me and myself.
I typically respond on impulse.
I continued to live in my imagined circumstances rather than the real ones as a result.
There are probably ways to make it easier for you to let go when you obstinately don’t want to let go, but I don’t think anyone knows how to let go entirely or not fall back occasionally if they do.
The first step in anything is acceptance.
Living in denial will hurt you more than anything, and refusing to acknowledge your feelings will cause you grief that you won’t understand.
I believe failure and rejection to be incredibly interesting and worthwhile experiences.
A few months before our wedding, my ex-boyfriend rejected me.
I was devastated when it happened since I had decided to ignore the warning signs for a few months.
I kept pleading with him to return me.
consistently pushed myself past the limit.
out of love?
Love is nonsense.
In all honesty, my main concern was being rejected.
I had never experienced rejection before.
I’d received cheers wherever I’d gone in the past.
I struggled because I was accustomed to being the centre of attention.
I excelled academically and professionally, did well in my corporate work, was well-liked by my peers, and was generally living the high life.
In fact, our union was Instagram’s “couple goals.”
I was devastated when I was refused.
My mind was unsure of how to respond to it, so it used “my love” as a coping strategy to keep pleading with him.
“What is meant for you will come to you, even if it is hidden between two mountains.
Even if it is between your two lips, what is not meant for you will not get to you.
— A saying
I finally realised something after several months of wailing, pleading, and self-harm.
I discovered that anything that was forced, difficult than it needed to be, or caused me pain or grief was not intended for me.
The things that are meant for you have a way of coming into your life without any problems.
Something that is not meant for you will fight you back more the more you struggle for it.
In the end, you might obtain what you desire, but it might not last and it might not make you feel comfortable.
Things that are meant for you simply happen; despite all odds, which is what makes them so beautiful.
Life is not worth complicating.