the exact scenario above is received as follows.

When it comes to communication, it can be quite daunting to evaluate what methods to use to do so. Most times, with difficult issues, we would prefer to hide behind our telephones or mobile phones in conveying difficult messages as opposed to the better way, which is in person. Whereas other times, we would request an in-person meeting or a face-to-face direct approach to discuss flimsy things that could have been said via the telephone.

In all honesty, there is no right or wrong way to communicate because at that moment you feel like it, you’re choosing what favors you the most to let it out. I guess that’s a good enough rationale.

But what about phone calls? How do we deal with the ebbs and flow of calling somebody to speak with or to them? How many times should we call? Should we be calling or text messaging instead?

One missed call only

One missed call is mostly for strangers

One missed call might as well be a flash, a beep, or a sort of reminder for something else expected of the receiver.

To the caller:

No matter what is said or what the norm out there is, giving somebody one missed call only indicates that you don’t need (perhaps you want) to speak with them, albeit if they picked up then it’s okay. It goes to show that you want to give the impression that you tried speaking to them. It depicts confusion about whether you feel the need to speak to the receiver or not.

To the receiver:

The receiver would easily grab that you couldn’t be bothered to speak to them. Whether it’s on a professional or personal level. They might return the call if it’s something that favors them more anyway. But the first impression of receiving only one missed call, without prior arrangement or as a reminder, or without a backup text message, is to assume that the caller wasn’t serious enough to want to speak with them.

Two missed calls

Not one time, but twice. Then it’s intentional.

This is the appropriate number of times to reach a person. It shows an intentional move to get through to the receiver. Because one time could come off as an error, but twice is purposeful.

To the caller:

The voice in the head goes thus; “I wonder why they didn’t answer the first time, I need to hear from them so I will leave try again (or leave another missed call), hopefully, they pick up this time.

To the receiver: the exact scenario above is received as follows.

They understand that one time could have been a mistake and calling twice shows it’s either serious, important or for a reason, thus they need to hear it.

Three missed calls

Three is a crowd.

Three missed calls could easily fit as the appropriate number of times to reach a person too. But it’s borderline-nuisance to give somebody three missed calls. Though it’s likely to spell out scenarios in the mind of the receiver as being extremely urgent for him/her to dial them this number of times. Or it could spell doom to the receiver as “who’s-this- stalker three-is-a-crowd” kind of scenario as well. This is why we need to be mindful of leaving three missed calls to people, be it our boss, friend, spouse, or others.

To the caller:

it shows that you’re impatient, invasive, and disrespectful of whatever might be disallowing the receiver from picking up in the first place.

To the receiver:

The exact scenario above plays out in their minds.

But also subsequently considers if it’s emergent or obnoxious enough to either dial back or ignore respectively. Considerations about the type of person who left the three missed calls aren’t far-fetched too in that decision-making.

Exceeding three missed calls

This is an erratic abnormal behavior that should not be condoned by anyone except in extreme cases of life and death emergencies. Otherwise could be seen as a sign of psychological issues or imbalance. And I say this with no disrespect because only a very anxious, nervous, mentally spaced out person would call ceaselessly in one time. It happens to me sometimes and it sucks, even as the caller.

To the caller or receiver: no one should place or acknowledge an excessive sporadic number of missed calls except in suspected cases of emergencies or other life-threatening situations.

The ebbs and flow of communication methods can be disparaging, but a matter of learning how we would like to be treated as a receiver would aid us in evaluating how to place or leave missed calls as a caller in the first place.