My boyfriend Hudson and I were walking along a thin creek, a streak of water cutting through the barren desert landscape. Immersed in deep conversation, we paused for a moment to admire a white egret, dinosaur-like, walking in the water, and then got back to business.
“Is it scripted or unscripted?” he asked.
We were playing our favorite guessing game and nature would have to wait. I had pulled up a list of the top-rated television shows in 2009, and Hudson, after correctly identifying one through seven, was trying to figure out what number eight was. After establishing that it was a CBS reality show that wasn’t about singing or surviving, he asked, “What would Ronald Reagan say about this show?”
I modulated my voice, transforming my high-pitched vocal fry into that familiar lilting baritone, calm and strangely maternal. “Well Hudson,” I said, “I think it’s a great show. It brings all types of Americans together.” Immediately the answer clicked: it was Undercover Boss.
Guessing games are for children, but I guess I’m young at heart, because I can’t get enough of them. Even before Covid confined us to our homes, I was always looking for fun ways to engage my wretched mind, to move my thoughts away from daily anxieties.
A cheerful Ronald Reagan contemplates basketball before having a psychic vision about the future television show ‘Undercover Boss.’ (Image: Ronald Reagan Presidential Library & Museum/White House via Wikimedia Commons)
When the pandemic hit approximately one thousand years ago, the need to occupy myself at all times only deepened. I made my way through every plastic surgery reality show known to man. I spent hours watching Robert Stack deliver eerie, low-pitched monologues about UFOs and grisly murders on Unsolved Mysteries. I experimented with lesser-known police procedurals, watched every movie (bar one each) in the Terminator and Alien franchises, and blew through a dozen and a half video games. I also read a lot of books (yes I am a saint/genius). And even though I’ve become a certified expert on how to pass time without leaving my house, I still sometimes find myself feeling like a child, whining, “I’m booooored.”
Here’s where guessing games come in: they are a great way to pass the time when you’ve exhausted other options, especially if you have a simpatico person (or people) to play with. To maximize your enjoyment — because trying to figure out what the ninth most populous state in the union is can be tedious under certain conditions — you don’t actually want to focus on finding the answer as quickly as possible. Instead, you want to have fun with the questions, be amenable to going off on tangents and taking detours, and arrive at the answer only once you’ve thoroughly explored all the strange places that trying to guess the actor who played the villain in the seventeenth James Bond film took you to.
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